


Shaken

by RubyQuinn



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 11:59:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/836634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyQuinn/pseuds/RubyQuinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the ST:ID kinkmeme.  When Kirk suffers from shock following a mission, Spock must try and comfort him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shaken

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for the following kinkmeme prompt:
> 
> "I just want Kirk shaking and clinging onto the nearest person, either in absolute terror or mind-blowing relief. I don't really care which, just so long as he's freaking out to the point that he's actually trembling and he can't even stand on his own.
> 
> Bonus points for awkward comforting from the crew, especially Spock (because he's Spock) and Uhara (because it's Kirk)."
> 
> ( http://strek-id-kink.livejournal.com/1695.html?thread=659615#t659615 )
> 
> Also please note that I probably have a very vague concept of how panic attacks work. This is a combination of poetic licence and quick wiki searches.

Spock let out a small sigh, tension ebbing as Scotty confirmed that the last of the crewmen and passengers had arrived safely in the transporter room.  A small cheer went up among those (non-Vulcans) on the bridge, and Spock allowed himself a small feeling of victory as they watched the wreckage of the empty ship suspended in space before the Enterprise.

They hadn't expected the emergency.  It was supposed to be a simple resupply mission to bring food and medical stores to a large charter ship on course nearby; the _Eagle_.  Only, when they arrived, it was to find that the ship had just collided with an asteroid, and the crew and passengers aboard were in immediate danger.  They'd managed to evacuate them to safety aboard the Enterprise, but they'd had to witness a few tense moments via video feed from the _Eagle_.  Among several way-too-close-for-comfort calls was the disturbing image of a frantic, injured young boy, who was trapped beneath an unstable pile of rubble for several minutes before he could be safely retrieved. 

As always, Spock remained cool and collected throughout the event, but he could tell that many of the crew were shaken, even after the events had played out in their entirety.  One rather important crew member in particular.

"Captain?"

Kirk did not reply, running a trembling hand over his brow.  A few of the crewmen looked up from their tasks, showing signs of worry as they glanced at their Captain.  He was looking around the bridge, dazed and unfocused, breathing rather heavily.

"Jim," Spock said quietly, already at his side.

Blue eyes blinked rapidly, as if he were surprised to see him.  "Mr. Spock… ah… I'm…" Kirk's face twisted with some unknown emotion, and he let out a short huff and a curse.  He rose unsteadily to his feet, clutching the back of his chair for support.  Instinctively, Spock put a hand on Jim's arm to help steady him, and the human looked up at him gratefully.  "Sulu," he croaked, "the conn…"

"I believe what the Captain means to say," Spock said smoothly, without taking his eyes off of Jim, "Is that Mr. Sulu is to have temporary command.  In the meantime I will escort the Captain to sickbay.  Please alert Dr. McCoy of our approach."

Kirk nodded a quick affirmation as Spock guided him over to the turbolift, ignoring the worried looks they were getting from the rest of the crew.

As soon as the doors shut, Jim let out his breath and went limp like a boneless fish.  Spock caught him easily, maneuvering him so he was propped between the wall and Spock's body. 

"Spock, what's… what's happening… to me," Jim gasped, gripping the blue fabric of his first officer's shirt like a lifeline.

"I believe you are suffering from shock after witnessing the narrow escape of the _Eagle_ 's crew from mortal peril," Spock said gently. 

"Shock?  Me?"  If Jim had been breathing properly, he may have laughed.  As it was, he merely cursed, eyes squeezed shut as he fought for control of his body. 

"Dr. McCoy may have a better remedy, but until we reach sickbay, I suggest you try to relax."

Jim nodded shakily, before letting his head fall against Spock's chest.  His grip went slack and he let his hands drop, leaning bodily against the Vulcan.  "Sorry…"

"There is no need to apologize, Captain.  What you are experiencing is the result of excess adrenaline in your system; a physical manifestation of your emotional response to a stressful situation.   You could neither control it, nor prevent it." 

Though the words were dry and technical, Spock's voice was steady and reassuring, as always; to Jim, it felt like a tether keeping him from being swept away into madness.  Trembling, he balled his fists in Spock's shirt yet again, the contact keeping him steady as his world swam.

A familiar voice sounded over the speaker; "Doctor McCoy to Spock."

"Spock here," was the prompt reply, to all the world as if his mess of a C.O. wasn't clinging to him like a shivering kitten.

"Sulu said you were on your way with Jim."

"Yes, Doctor.  I believe the Captain is suffering from shock."

"That's my diagnosis, too; I just watched the recording from the bridge," McCoy agreed.  "Listen, there's an empty room across from medical bay; would it be possible for you to keep Jim company there for a little while rather than coming straight in here?  My staff has their hands full and I need a few minutes before I can deal with Jim."

Spock noticed that McCoy's wording was vague but did not point it out; he quickly deduced that medical bay was likely busy with many wounded crewmen from that ship, in which case taking Jim into that environment could be detrimental to his condition.  "This delay will not cause any undue harm to the Captain?"

"He should be fine for a couple minutes.  Just try and keep him calm.  I'd say to try and comfort him, but to do that, you might have to trade in your pointy ears and sense of humor," McCoy replied drily, and Spock's eyebrow arched unappreciatively.  "McCoy out."

As the communication ended, a soft electronic tone indicated that they had arrived on the appropriate floor, and the doors whooshed open.  The door to the room McCoy had indicated was visible only about 30 feet away, but Jim was eyeing the hallway like a mountain climber seeing at a particularly impossible peak. 

"Are you able to walk?"

Jim gave an unconvincing nod, and took nearly a full step forward before losing his balance and staggering into the wall.  Spock gently pulled him back upright.  Jim looked up at him, obviously frustrated with his helpless state.  Silently, Spock glanced both ways down the hall to check that the coast was clear, before leaning down and lifting his Captain, bridal-style.  Jim groaned in protest, but allowed himself be carried. 

Once inside, the door snapped shut with a soft hiss, and Spock set his Captain down on a couch along the wall, slipping into the seat beside him.  Jim gave a shuddering sigh as he tried to relax, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.  His fingers trembled and he shook his head.  "Ugh… I'm just a wreck, aren't I?"  Jim gave a self-deprecating laugh that he used too often, and Spock frowned in response.

"As I stated before, your current state is an involuntary response to stressful stimuli.  You can take no blame for it."

"Easy for you to say," Jim muttered.  "You're not the one falling apart in front of the crew."

"If I were, it wouldn't be the first time," Spock replied quietly, and Jim's eyes widened, his face suddenly plastered with another kind of guilt as he remembered the events that allowed him to take command of the Enterprise in the first place. 

"Spock, I-"

The Vulcan cleared his throat, giving Jim a mild look of kindness that might be unreadable if he didn't know him so well.  "As I said, you cannot be blamed for it."

Jim gave him a small smile, before sighing again.  "God, this mission… I can't get it out of my head.  That kid…"

"From the medics indications, the boy's injuries appeared treatable and he will suffer no permanent ill effects once healed.  Though I admit the process of retrieving him was… quite tense."

"Poor kid."  Jim shook his head.  It wasn't the first time he'd been witness to disaster, watching without knowing if he could do anything to help.  The images were permanently burned into his memory, images of Vulcan, and the incident with Khan at HQ, and being threatened by Markus.  Too many times when he realized too late the danger they were in.  "Why can't I ever keep this stuff from happening?"

That earned a raised eyebrow.  "As you are neither psychic _nor_ omnipotent, you can hardly be expected to predict or prevent all potential disasters."  Jim scoffed, and could've sworn that Spock flashed him a brief smirk.  "That being said, you frequently demonstrate an uncanny ability to perform very well under pressure, with positive results.  Today's events were no exception; under your direction, we successfully evacuated all occupants of the damaged ship before their life support systems failed, with no loss of life once we became involved."

"I guess you're right," Jim murmured, still unsure if he could accept credit for the rescue, since a rescue was needed in the first place; if only he'd gotten there sooner. 

His eyes fell shut and he leaned his head forward to rest on Spock's shoulder once more.  The Vulcan stiffened at the unexpected contact, but soon relaxed into a more comfortable position, gently hugging the Human to his chest with one arm. 

Jim was still shaking as the adrenaline ebbed in his veins.  His teeth chattered slightly as if he were jittery on too much caffeine.  He tried to relax, enveloped by Vulcan body heat in a comfortable silence. 

"I'm sorry to be like this," he said softly after a few minutes, as he began to feel more stable.  Before Spock could interject, he added, "And maybe that's _illogical_ , and maybe this isn't my fault, but just… thanks."  He peered upwards, blue eyes meeting brown.  "Thanks for taking care of me."

He lifted his hand, hardly shaking at all now, and placed it on top of Spock's.  Spock's eyes widened slightly at the touch, but he made no move to pull away.  Jim was watching him, almost searchingly, and Spock wondered if the Human could know the significance hands had for Vulcans.  Surely not; even Nyota had seemed surprised to learn about that bit of intimacy, and never quite got the hang of it while they were together.  But his confidence in Jim's ignorance wavered as the Human moved his fingers across the back of his hand, turning the contact into a caress. 

Slowly, Spock turned his hand to face upwards, so they were palm-to-palm, and returned the caress, watching carefully for Jim's reaction.  Blue eyes were twinkling, and Spock found himself captivated by pink lips drawn into a genuine grin.  Jim was leaning a fraction closer, and-

"Jim, sorry about the wait."  McCoy's voice was jarring as he barged into the room, glancing up from his PADD to see the two officers pulling away from each other.  Spock's cheeks were faintly green and the Captain seemed to be muttering a half-hearted curse.  The Doctor raised an eyebrow, but decided to ignore it because he did _not want to know_.  "Anyway… are you feeling any better?"

Jim shrugged.  "I'm… actually, yeah, I think I've stopped shaking."

McCoy nodded doubtfully, squinting at Jim to gage the truth of his statement, then pulling out his tricorder.  "Well, your pulse is normal, you're breathing regularly, and your adrenaline is back to acceptable levels."  He quirked an eyebrow in Spock's direction.  "How'd you do it, Spock?  How did _you_ , a _Vulcan_ , manage to help Jim through an episode of emotional shock?"

Spock, still slightly distracted, raised his eyebrows.  "I'm sure I did nothing other than monitor his condition in your absence, Doctor.  Though of course, my own emotional control may have helped to provide a sense of calm."

McCoy didn't miss the way Jim was smiling as he watched the Vulcan give his answer.  He tried to refrain from rolling his eyes.  "Well whatever you did seems to have worked, but I still need to give him a thorough once over before he can return to duty."

Spock nodded curtly, and rose to leave. 

"Thanks again, Spock," Jim said as door whooshed open. 

"It was not a problem, Captain," the Vulcan replied stiffly.

Hopefull, Jim asked, "Chess later?"  It was as good an excuse as any to pick up where they had left off before they were interrupted.

There was a pause, then Spock said, "I would find that… agreeable," before turning and walking down the hall. 

**Author's Note:**

> I liked writing this but I had no idea how to end it so it kind of fizzles out... hope you enjoyed it though!


End file.
